Spicey Wobitz

Seriously, from now on, whenever I need a boost of confidence, I am going down to the Area Five Police Headquarters Circuit Court. We had to go yesterday to see that justice was served and that "Paisan", as Rose and I have christened him, went to jail... or something. Oh the characters...including our motley crew. Let's begin with us: Jamie decided to go with a black collared housewife dress, knitted shawl and pearls. All she needed was a martini and a vaccum. Rose went for 10th grade creative writing teacher in a green blouse with white polka dots, black cardigan and tan skirt. Oh, and pearls. I looked like myself, but like myself when I don't look homeless. Striped sweater, crisp polo, corduroy skirt, green velcro buster browns, huge Harry Caray sunglasses, ridiculous earrings... yeah. Like myself. Dave looked like himself too. He had on his traditional vest, slacks, tie and glasses. I was very pleased with us. So was everyone else. They were staring appreciatively :). Paisan and his dad looked like some chumps. Which they are. Most of the people were sort of fucked up but there were worse offenders than others.

When we were called for our case, we walked out to the hall to confer with the prosecuter, who was teetering on the brink of hotness. In contrast, Paisan's lawyer looked like a cross between The Naked Trucker and offensive Italian stereotype. His wedding ring was a) huge b) orangeish c) looked like it was from a gumball machine. He had a friendly enough face but since he was on the wrong side, he was subject to our ridicule. Unlike the hot-ish prosecuter who I suspect might have been a douche, but since he was on the right side, his smirk and strut were charming. I'm like 91% sure he's actually a douche.

Who else... OK, the public defender. He was hil-AR-ious. He had this one defendant who needed a translator. The judge and the translator were talking to the defendant and the public defender's eyes kept widening humorously. Apparently, he had no idea that his client was going to do and say the stuff he was doing/saying...via the translator. It was so outrageous in fact, that the judge said to him "Is your client mentally competent" "Well... I thought so until about a minute and a half ago." HAHAHAHAHA After the case he kept shaking his head in disbelief. He was kind of like your uncle at the BBQ who has awesome stories to tell about super irrelevant shit but you love his opinion.

The whole court staff was a mess though. The judge with his sarcastic asides, the flustered translator with her outfit that wouldn't stay put, the lady that kept announcing the cases kept dropping files and handing out the wrong ones and whispering to people, the prosecuters with their private jokes... Some of the defendants were a trip. This one kid, he looked about 19, was sentenced to "Successful completion of drug school." His response? "Cool." He was wearing a puffy jacket and some sort of 1/2 backpack 1/2 satchel that looked like it was free at a Cubs game. His haircut bewildered us all. We weren't sure if it was bed head or if he requested that someone do that to him. Wow.

And the honorable mention goes to the chick who walked into court looking a hot mess and carrying a huge mirror. She looked like one of the Belmont trash we used to kick out of starbux back in the day. At first we thought she might be a dude but no. She was lady folks.

To celebrate, we went to Baba Reba(sp) and to the Aroma Workshop. I got to name Dave's new fragrance but he came up with the spelling. Spicey Wobitz.